of loneliness and worthless words?

Some days I wonder: who do I think I am? Of what should I consider my words of any value?

These thoughts came and went all weekend, 'round in a circle like a dog chasing a tail. But I kept coming back to the One thing which matters and this is why words come and need to spill out.

I've tried to be silent, but I couldn't. So I leave the quiet business to the rocks because praise builds like a dam, and worship, in words, like the overflow valve which relieves the pressure.  And I'm reminded:

"Then I said, 'I will not make mention of Him, nor speak anymore in His name.' But His word was in my heart like a burning fire  shut up in my bones; I was weary of holding it back,  and I could not." Jeremiah 20:9

I'm reading A.W. Tozer's "God's Pursuit of Man" where words are filling me up, right full to the brim. My highlighter will be busy marking many passages in this book. If you've read this book, perhaps this will be a nod-shaking "yes" to part of what I'm about to share. But I'm just newly discovering these works.

I spent years dismantling things, lit (denominational) doctrines up so only Jesus burns and I've been rebuilding on this mantle ever since. But it's meant not reading a plethora of books like I've done before, and just read One, not only in by words but His life.

So I feel behind, in a sense. Even though I know no one is never really behind because we all have one and the same Counselor.

Lovely, Ann, she beat me to it, ya know. A different book but same author I already had planned on sharing.


God is good like that.

I'm sure she won't mind....as so many words from his book have made me want to shout them from the rooftops.



But I'll have to settle for a corner instead, this little angled space, sliver of blog-land which is like a world-wide gulf. And I'm just a wee dot here, a blip really, but I want to give a shout-out from some wonderful truths I've been reading. Of course, they all point to our biggest Truth and this alone is worth every letter, word, paragraph and, yes, value.


It's why I write, at all. And why silence isn't always golden. Who can shut in? And who would want to anyway?

"We habitually stand in our now and look back by faith to see the past filled with God. We look forward and see Him inhabiting our future; but our now is uninhabited except for ourselves. Thus we are guilty of a kind of temporary atheism which leaves us alone in the universe while, for the time, God is not. We talk of Him much and loudly, but we secretly think of Him as being absent, and we think of ourselves as inhabiting a parenthetic interval between the God who was and the God who will be. And we are lonely with an ancient and cosmic loneliness....So we try by every method devised by religion to relieve our fears and heal our hidden sadness; but with all our efforts we remain unhappy still, with the settled despair of men alone in a vast and deserted universe.  

But for all our fears we are not alone. Our trouble is that we think of ourselves as being alone."      ~~A.W. Tozer's "God's Pursuit of Man" (Oh my, I'm only in the first chapter! underlining was mine)

We think ourselves alone, in the now. But it's an illusion, a mirage of our task-focused life of doing now for this or that.


I'm hoping for just a moment, you could imagine, put on your spiritual eyes and see the true Author sitting right beside you. Brushing your skin with closeness, peering over whatever you're doing this minute as if He's there and saying "I love being here with you."


Because you are not alone. You just think you are, sometimes.

--friends who challenge my thinking and give me spiritual truths to chew on
--always coming back to the only Good I really have...over and over again
--beautiful sunshine, cool temperatures and open windows which let life waft right in
--faithful wordsmiths, who wrote His heart and passed it on, what a wonderful blessing to read like-minded folks speaking the same language, Jesus, just Him and more of Him.
--listened to a an elder gentleman, wise, soft-spoken, full of Truth snipping it all down to the core...and I learned more about mercy I'm still marinating on (via web)