The Rumbles Of Volcanic Anxiety

Building like red hot, bubbling lava, it seeks to overflow the containment. Anxiety's blistering streams, sear and scorch underpath and blacken with it's leadened flow. In a cooled state, the molten display appears hardened and dark. I'm a volcano keeper today. Trying to contain it.

As the scalpel of anxiety threatens to cut me open, I attempt to rest in His care. Underneath percolates the bubbly brew. I need His Spirit to go deep and cool the flows that threaten to swim up.  He is enough. He is able. He delivers.  I just need to remember it. No, I need to know it.

Red like lava is the hot, red blood that runs in my veins. They threaten to erupt and run like streams. But He is the keeper of my body, my blood. I just need to give Him this volcano I've tried to ignore. Anxiety has a way of showing up unannounced. Denying it only tucks it deeper and causes it to rumble underneath. So here my lava flows, because my expertise doesn't extend into being the keeper of anything but His Spirit. And really I need to release it, come clean and let it erupt into His ever capable Hands.

"The fear of the LORD is clean, enduring forever.." Psalm 19:9

"I sought the LORD, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears." Psalm 34:4

My gratitude starts here (visit Ann's place for more gratitude):

--He gives medicine & doctors wisdom and knowledge for all things known

--He is able to guide our hands to do the work needed for today

--He promises to never leave nor forsake us

--Friends and family who support and lift me up in encouragement and faith

--He is the Great Physician and is able to do far and above any works performed in our flesh.

--Prayer from friends and Hubby

--Surrendering my life, all it holds, into His Life

--Peace that transcends all understanding and anxiety

What Say You? Flaming Words Of Pentecost

What say you,
if like the wind you are blown by His Spirit?

What say you,
if you speak as a drunk for those who hear it?

What say you,
if your daughter's words but prophesy?

What say you,
if you envision through Heaven's eye?

What say you,
if on your head a fire came?

What say you,
if you saw waters licked up by a flame?

What say you,
if His Spirit is poured on you in these days?

What say you,
if prayer shakes the earth your body lays?

What say you,
if His Spirit flooded your very core?

What say you,
if you increased in Him evermore?

Would you not boldly speak
the very words of One you adore?

May you say it
and bring Heaven to earth's door.
May you know it
and be a vessel His Spirit is stored.

--Written by Tammy


This Wednesday, I'm walking toward Pentecost days.  And for other walks visit Ann's place.

"And suddenly there came a sound from heaven, as of a rushing mighty wind...then there appeared to them divided tongues, as of fire, and one sat upon each of them." Acts 2:2&3

"For these are not drunk, as you suppose...But this is what was spoken by the prophet Joel:  ‘And it shall come to pass in the last days, says God, that I will pour out of My Spirit on all flesh; your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your young men shall see visions, your old men shall dream dreams. And on My menservants and on My maidservants I will pour out My Spirit in those days; and they shall prophesy. I will show wonders in heaven above and signs in the earth beneath..." Acts 2:15-19


"Then the fire of the LORD fell ...and it licked up the water that was in the trench." 1 Kings 18:38

"And when they had prayed, the place where they were assembled together was shaken; and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit, and they spoke the word of God with boldness." Acts 4:31

Waiting In The Quiet

Sometimes life is gray and we're doing good just to peek over it.

And other times, it's in color and brightens the heart a bit.

 
 

 

 

 

Sometimes it's connecting and a spark is lit.

 

 

 

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

And then come times of quiet where we just sit.

So it is, this week, I've lived. Not so much through words, but through experience.  Enjoying my family, I've taken the time to sit and just be.  Moments to savor and watch the trying times of change.  While I keep myself open to all He is, I quietly come and just breathe.  For in the quiet, He opens my eyes to see.

My Gratitude starts:

--Watching Hubby transform the farm one baby step at a time

--Sharing meals and a table with Hubby and our boys

--Reflecting on the sacrificial love of Christ, and how it relates to marriage

--Even at his own discomfort, Hubby strives to better our place of home

--In heat, and rain, sweat and pain, Hubby labors on for our (family's) good

--And in a Christ-centered marraige, each person Christ-focused, Christ-humbled, Christ-sacrificed, Christ-encouragers, I sense the marriage of a Lamb where a home awaits this bride of Who's I am.

(What He's opened my eyes to see: when a husband lays down his life in a sacrificial way for his wife, scripture comes to life. As a Christian wife, you've probably heard it, maybe it's even been demanded of you to submit. But there's a tender balance to marriage displayed in Christ. The one who submitted but also sacrificed.

Oh how much sweeter is the word submit to one who lays it down like Christ.)

For more gratitude visit Ann's place. And I just discovered "To Love Their Husbands Tuesday" at Lauren's place. What a timely find, and for more Husbandly love click on the title above.

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.." Ephesians 5:25

"And It All Falls Down"

They were tattered, ripped and baked under hot summer days. The Texas heat had taken her toll on the sheltering layers from peaks above. Today, their end has come. Layers are peeling back as I write. In an ever-growing collective pile of pieces from our roof, they assemble down below.

A small thing for sure. It's just a roof after all. But can I just say, I am a wee-bit excited? In all our trials & tribulations to be here in Texas on this wayward farm, small changes are changing this place. Each baby crawl, leads to the next. Little by little, I see new life sprouting here and it gives me hope. Not as Christ my all-in-all Hope because I always have that, but hope glimmering under pile(s) of neglect.

From a little run-down shelter with walls, we are slowly turning this house into our very own cottage. One day I hope to see mounted window boxes under a few soon-to-be new windows, with flowers brightening the glass. With a new coat of paint and color on the outer walls to also come soon, the dramatic difference is anticipated.

Our dream still waits on the back of the property at "...Dreams In Grass". My favorite childhood spot of green meadows, trees and a quiet pond continues to quicken my heart. But until we start building that dream (from scratch), we're rebuilding the one started in this little place.

Small steps can be hard for it produces slower progress. But each one builds on the other. It gives a person time to breathe and lean. This pace allows steadying moments, not ones squeezed between time. As we continue this snailward direction, we lean on the One who's care also is changing, humbling, and rebuilding us. In the same way, His change sometimes comes slower than we'd like. Today, change is sliding down from heights above.

While new palleted shingles await their application, I too want my old shingles stripped away. Down to exposed surfaces, bare for His resurfacing, I pray He goes. And with protective sheeting, nails & tacks securing new layers, may He apply change & new to the structure of me. Christ in us becomes the temple His Holy Spirit resides. May we be ready to allow the Master Carpenter to boldly do His work in us. Because sometimes there must be a stripping away of the old before He can apply the new. And that brings an eager anticipation of change that makes it worth the cost.

 

This Tuesday, I'm unwrapping the old and ushering in the new. For the past month, I've been contemplating His newness in the spirit, tho' not new to Him just to me. And I prepare to move forward in it, one change at a time. For more unwrappings, visit Emily at "Chatting At The Sky".


"For you are the temple of the living God. As God has said: 'I will dwell in them..'" 2 Corinthians 6:16

"'And no one puts new wine into old wineskins; or else the new wine will burst the wineskins and be spilled, and the wineskins will be ruined. But new wine must be put into new wineskins, and both are preserved.'" Luke 5:37&38


For this months' Sat Eve Post, I'm sharing this one. For more Sat readings just click here "Saturday Evening Post".

Spiritual Mothering--Nothing Is Barren In The Spirit

"...Whoever does the will of My Father in heaven is My brother and sister and mother.” Jesus in Mathew 12:50

I was given another opportunity, in fact two of them. They weren't given because I was so great at it the first time. Because I wasn't. It definitely wasn't because I learned all my lessons the first go-round, because I didn't, at least not ALL of them.

For whatever graceful reason it was, I don't know it. God only knows why He trusted me with two more little people to raise up in His ways. Raising that is prickly among my barbed flesh of parenting, but He knew this already. All the more reason I need Him.

There was a time when I didn't want to need Him. I had set out on my own and drifted on wings of change and feelings. Until one day, Consequence met me at the crossroads of faith. Either I had faith to believe or not. I choose Faith from the bottom of a pit but I can't have faith for my children. I can only live it.



"'Sing, O barren, you who have not borne! Break forth into singing, and cry aloud, You who have not labored with child! For more are the children of the desolate than the children of the married woman,' says the LORD." Isaiah 54:1

So when our own children (as in my adult daugther) follow the wayward paths we once traveled, we need something else too. Spiritual Mothers. As our sons and daughters tread those far off paths along the wide road, may they also encounter His Spirit drawing them to His family. Mothering isn't always about birthing natural children, those in flesh, but also laboring in Spirit for the birth of new Life in daughters & sons. For those with natural children, this is married in flesh & Spirit. But other times, it's not those with natural children He calls Mother.



"..He grants the barren woman a home, like a joyful mother of children." Psalm 113:8

For many reasons, daughters are separated from their natural Mothers. But in these absences, "...You received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, 'Abba, Father'" Romans 8:15. Spiritual Mothering is an awesome role, a blessed one too. For what you may not have in the natural, you have adopted in the Spirit.

I was so touched by Holly at "Heart to Heart with Holley" who has struggles with infertility and the loss of a child. She asked, "Am I a Mother?" and then went on to answer. As I read her answer, I beautifully pictured her maternal heart Mothering to those around her. And there I thought, could it be there's a tender-hearted Spiritually Maternal woman like this mothering my far-off daughter? It gave me hope.



"'Sing, O barren, You who have not borne! Break forth into singing, and cry aloud, You who have not labored with child! For more are the children of the desolate than the children of the married woman,' says the LORD. 'Enlarge the place of your tent..'" Isaiah 54:1&2

For those who've lost Mother's or to Mother's who've lost children, I won't attempt some cheap platitude. I have friends who've lost children, or Mother's, or haven't yet held a child from their womb. All I can truly say is words, but no real comfort will be found in them. This weekend, I've been thinking about Mother's day and YOU.

This I will say: in your loss, I see treasures among the desolations. I see hearts, in their waste places, enlarged. Ones big and wide, and palpitating Love. In your sorrow, I see a pouring into daughters. Whether it be Granddaughters, nieces, or someone else's natural daughter, you are a Mother. That God-given maternal spirit is Spiritually Mothering daughters. And that my friend, is not barren, but prosperly birthing.


"'So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; it shall not return to Me void, but it shall accomplish what I please, and it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.'" Isaiah 55:11

"Those from among you shall build the old waste places; you shall raise up the foundations of many generations.." Isaiah 58:12

"For the LORD will comfort Zion, He will comfort all her waste places.." Isaiah 51:3

I Carry Them In My Heart--Maybe You Know Their Struggles

I'm feeling today. Words are lost among the voices of so many others, I'm hearing them. A pause. Another written word, I'm reading them today. And in them you may find, you may touch, a place not so far or different from yours. So I share, just in case you need to know...you are not alone. Or perhaps, you too will say a prayer, or give a word of encouragement or share their journey with someone who needs to know.

The blog world brought us together, before she came out with her secret. A stay-at-home mother of two small children, who had a really good(as in bad) friend. His name was alcohol. She bravely shared her unraveling and continues to share her journey of sobriety and just plain Mommy moments. Alcohol doesn't define her, it just likes to hide her. But she's so much more, Mom, Wife, Friend, Daughter, Writer, Lover of Beaches, and on it goes. I share a pivotal moment of her life, in case you may need one too:
http://www.trainstutusandteatime.com/2010/02/sobering-gifts.html


In the beginning I had her, in my blogroll, but somehow in all my blog shuffling of a newbie, I lost her. I've found her again. One who is healing from a strict fundamentalist Christian background. There is much to learn about abuse, not just the physical kind (of which I'm familiar), but also the spiritual kind. Where different kinds of pain are cloaked under layers of coping and conformity, at all costs:
http://quiverfulldaughters.blogspot.com
http://quiveringdaughters.blogspot.com/2009/12/new-start-here.html


And what if you follow God's leading for your life, but you find yourself questioning, was I wrong? Where are You, Lord? If you've felt the deseperate cry for the One leads us out of the desert, then you'll love Mari. With honesty and transparency, she is trudging through the trying times of transition. It makes it all the sweeter to know her:
http://marilarkin.blogspot.com


Not even sure how we met, she has recently come into my virtual world. And she longs for connection. Don't we all? His Spirit draws us to Him and to eachother. She struggles, and she doubts, but she continues to seek her value in Him while also reaching out to others:
http://tulipgirl1979.blogspot.com/2010/05/i-have-confession-to-make.html


To annoymous (I won't name): She looked forward to this child in her womb. A blessed moment she shared. A child now in Heaven. I won't name her, but she is one of the voices I'm feeling today. She is healing and hoping for wholeness again.


And last of all, but not least, Ann. Who's beautiful poetic writing cuts deep the skin of flesh and tugs directly at the spirit within. A wonderfully tender and humble servant of Christ. Today she reflects on "Wounded Spirits" and the lingering effects of bullying:
http://www.aholyexperience.com/2010/05/wounded-spirits-how-to-stop-bullying.html



This "Walk With Him Wednesday", I'm thankful for being able to share these journeys as we continue our walks with Him and eachother. I'm carrying them close to my heart. Maybe one of them will touch yours.

"Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others." Phillipians 2:4

Saturdays--Moving Backwards for a Day

On most days, I want to drip like oil and be poured out. Flowing without form, with the fragrance of Christ, my heart longs for it, so "Pour Me Out--Please" is one of my stops. Also, Elizabeth (the above picture link) has talked about her honest unraveling of superMom. Bravery. I applaud it. With family violence in my own childhood, I tried for so many years to be strong. Because I didn't want to be a victim, I tried to be my own savior in ALL things. Eventually, it came crashing down around me, as in my life. One God has been rebuilding and continues to rebuild in "Ruins Are Ugly--But Beauty Begins".

Join me at Elizabeth Esther's place for a look at our favorite posts. I picked two, not because they're a favorite (why do I loathe to say I have a favorite writing of mine?). But I picked them because they are still part of where I'm at. For more readings or to add your favorites,just click the picture above to visit her place.