While I slept in the house up the road, the deep night passing, death came knocking. Separated by a garden, barbed wire, and a trek through murky grasses, my parent's house stretches from mine. It was 12:30 am this past Thursday, after my quiet reading time when rest captured me in blissful sleep. It also was shortly after 12:30am, when the house next door (my parent's), was full awake as my Dad was providing rescue breathing on my Mom, who stopped. Breathing. Alone, he sat on the floor where she had collapsed in respiratory arrest.
In the moments before the collapse, he did manage to call 911. Changing clothes, he prepared to dress since he's the on-call respiratory Therapist at our local hospital. It'd be his job to assist her distress at the E.R., then it happened. She fell when her lungs failed. In quick succession she was down. It'd be a long, long while before the ambulance would make it's way to our busy country road. Our local hospital the size of some large clinics elsewhere. And me, I slept, my phone silently beside me. Ringer turned off.
Before the ambulance found its way here, once again neighbors (volunteers called 'first responders') were the ones who showed up to provide assistance. My Dad attempting to breathe for his wife, my Mom. Perhaps one of those first responders was the neighbor two houses down, who showed up when our meadow caught fire ("Licking the Flame When Meadows Burn").
Eventually the ambulance arrived and carted my unconscious Mom across those muddy grasses. My Dad followed, to do his 'job'. After she was stabilized on a ventilator, out she went by helicopter. A larger city over an hour away received her to one of their larger facilities with the staff and equipment needed to continue her care.
A few days have passed and she now recovers in the care of the hospital. Saved. Luck had nothing to do with it. Nor coincendence. My knowledgeable Dad Divinely appointed by God to be available and awake in her greatest need. But there is a need that's greater than the very breath we breathe. There's a word for it. They call Him, Jesus.
Every day I try to breathe Him in, the very breath I crave. Some days I fail. Yet He is able to save me. HE took the air I needed and nailed it to a tree. Though flesh wraps me in that sinful state, HIS Spirit sets me free. Though my air is sucked out by life, He breathes for me. Though my body wastes away, HE gave His, so HE could have me.
We are all ONE breath away from eternity. Our flesh like grass, it withers and fades. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. We have today, this hour, this minute, this second. Youth isn't a life insurance policy from death. Death comes knocking for that unquenchable grave. Forever may find us today. May we be found in HIM.
"8..'The word is near you, in your mouth and in your heart”(that is, the word of faith which we preach): 9 that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation." Romans 10:8-10
"6 The voice said, “Cry out!”
And he said, “What shall I cry?”
“ All flesh is grass,
And all its loveliness is like the flower of the field.
7 The grass withers, the flower fades,
Because the breath of the LORD blows upon it;
Surely the people are grass.
8 The grass withers, the flower fades,
But the word of our God stands forever.” Isaiah 40:6-8
"15 The leech has two daughters— Give and Give! There are three things that are never satisfied, Four never say, “Enough!”:
16 The grave,
The barren womb,
The earth that is not satisfied with water—
And the fire never says, “Enough!” Proverbs 30:15
If you're interested in what God is doing in other lives, just click here on "Heart to Heart" with Holley.
Ps. I plan to also write about the wonderful CHRISTians who've been His hands, feet, and ears for us. On a side note, I did ask for permission to blog my parent's story here. My Dad and I have been at her side many times since this happened. It seems I may have more time with her. Above all else, I want us to be by HIS side when forever finds each of us.
Pss. I thought of you Brittany Janae during this. I don't know why one is spared and another taken. You are not over-looken by the One who has never taken His eyes off you. I look forward to meeting your Dad through your eyes.
what's invisible is visible in all of creation and this is where I speak of the supernatural among the natural. (Psalm 19:1-4, Colossians 1:15-16, Romans 1:20)
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
Collections
Since I'll be out of town most of this weekend due to a family emergency, I'll keep this brief. Over at Kelly's place the question is posed as to what do we collect? I can honestly say my favorite collections are those called memories. Some are from events of yesterdays, some are remembrances of His work in my life, some are reflections of those who journey life with me. All forms of it are appreciated by me and it's one of the reasons I started blogging (some earlier posts refer to it). This place is where I 'tag' them in my virtual scrapbook. So feel free to look around and make yourself at home. Welcome to my place and the collections I've gathered here. I'll write more later, until then, I'm glad you came by.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Vacant Places
Cleared out like empty rooms standing blank in a vacant house, the bare walls of my thoughts echoed in quiet. My last post of four days ago, "Decreasing in the Silence" became ever stronger because then HE was. Silent. Unbeknownst to me the silence would transcend from audible outside sounds into ones not even spoken, those inaudible ones formed first in the soul. No writing formed & no words surfaced here. Nothing.
In these four days, my keyboard only tapped for comments on other thoughts pasted on other pages, those virtual friends I've found along the way. Even those began to wane, my fingers finding fewer places under theirs.
This soul, which HE grafted to create the things HE shows me, normally clamors with words. They stack themselves, crowd in, tumble inside and cry for release. I seek their relief by placing them here as He directs, or so I pray. But only silence had greeted me. Words left. My soul echoed, emptied, barren of written expressions of Him in my life.
In this time, I considered Ezekiel. God caused him to be mute, a tongue clinging to the roof of his mouth. A prophet who speaks the very words of God, now shut up in silence. I think of Jeremiah when he said: "'I will not make mention of Him, nor speak anymore in His name.' But His word was in my heart like a burning fire shut up in my bones; I was weary of holding it back..." Jer. 20:9. I understand this fire shut up in my soul, but now NO fire blazes. No words found. No weary bones holding back, because the room of my heart laid empty.
Yesterday, I meditated on scriptures of quiet. He was in the midst of the quiet spells. The bare spaces, where His truth is heard in echoes. In this pause of wordless thoughts, He rejoices over me with gladness and singing. With His love His quiets my noisy soul. So it was last night, I tried but failed to write this place HE placed me. A blank slate of my heart.
Yesterday, a blinking cursor stared at me where only His scriptures of quiet where pasted. A blog page saved as "draft", for He was still drafting me in silence.
Then it happened. Taking up corners and spaces of thought, the rooms began to fill. The thoughts thawing after days of frozen quiet. Words came and needed release. Today they came in confirmation. Among a group of dear lady friends in Christ, each one was given a card with their names written on it. The meaning of each name inside the folds of paper. Mine read: "Tammy, Origin: Hebrew, Meaning: Palm Tree, Spiritual: Victorious Spirit. Scripture: Zephaniah 3:17" Written on my card, Zep. 3:17, the VERY scripture which waited my return in "draft".
So back I came, to finish what HE started. Learning in it: Silence is OK. It's a lesson that's stretched me. Not just in four days but over the last few years. When all is shushed, quiet settles and speaks in waves. Cleared of clutter and clamor, He echoes His Presence in the vacancy of words. HE fills those hollow places, where He rejoices with gladness over us. A place quieted by HIS love. An opportunity we might miss because our flesh fumbles in the awkwardness of silence. When the 'tongue' clings, HE secures us in dwelling places of HIS quiet habitation. It requires deliberate rest & reflection. Then He comes once again. Filling our soul with burning words that blaze their trail in our hearts and to our fingers, the tapping heard again from the pause of silence. Rather vacant or blazing, His word always speaks, even if we do not.
The confirming scripture:
"17 The LORD your God in your midst,
The Mighty One, will save;
He will rejoice over you with gladness,
He will quiet you with His love,
He will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17
A belated unwrapping of silence. For more unwrappings click here.
"17 The work of righteousness will be peace,
And the effect of righteousness, quietness and assurance forever.
18 My people will dwell in a peaceful habitation,
In secure dwellings, and in quiet resting places.." Isaiah 32:17&18
" 10 I will save you from afar,
And your seed from the land of their captivity.
Jacob shall return, have rest and be quiet,
And no one shall make him afraid." Jeremiah 30:10
Ps. Thanks Jamie for your faithfulness and blessing for sharing our names with each of us.
In these four days, my keyboard only tapped for comments on other thoughts pasted on other pages, those virtual friends I've found along the way. Even those began to wane, my fingers finding fewer places under theirs.
This soul, which HE grafted to create the things HE shows me, normally clamors with words. They stack themselves, crowd in, tumble inside and cry for release. I seek their relief by placing them here as He directs, or so I pray. But only silence had greeted me. Words left. My soul echoed, emptied, barren of written expressions of Him in my life.
In this time, I considered Ezekiel. God caused him to be mute, a tongue clinging to the roof of his mouth. A prophet who speaks the very words of God, now shut up in silence. I think of Jeremiah when he said: "'I will not make mention of Him, nor speak anymore in His name.' But His word was in my heart like a burning fire shut up in my bones; I was weary of holding it back..." Jer. 20:9. I understand this fire shut up in my soul, but now NO fire blazes. No words found. No weary bones holding back, because the room of my heart laid empty.
Yesterday, I meditated on scriptures of quiet. He was in the midst of the quiet spells. The bare spaces, where His truth is heard in echoes. In this pause of wordless thoughts, He rejoices over me with gladness and singing. With His love His quiets my noisy soul. So it was last night, I tried but failed to write this place HE placed me. A blank slate of my heart.
Yesterday, a blinking cursor stared at me where only His scriptures of quiet where pasted. A blog page saved as "draft", for He was still drafting me in silence.
Then it happened. Taking up corners and spaces of thought, the rooms began to fill. The thoughts thawing after days of frozen quiet. Words came and needed release. Today they came in confirmation. Among a group of dear lady friends in Christ, each one was given a card with their names written on it. The meaning of each name inside the folds of paper. Mine read: "Tammy, Origin: Hebrew, Meaning: Palm Tree, Spiritual: Victorious Spirit. Scripture: Zephaniah 3:17" Written on my card, Zep. 3:17, the VERY scripture which waited my return in "draft".
So back I came, to finish what HE started. Learning in it: Silence is OK. It's a lesson that's stretched me. Not just in four days but over the last few years. When all is shushed, quiet settles and speaks in waves. Cleared of clutter and clamor, He echoes His Presence in the vacancy of words. HE fills those hollow places, where He rejoices with gladness over us. A place quieted by HIS love. An opportunity we might miss because our flesh fumbles in the awkwardness of silence. When the 'tongue' clings, HE secures us in dwelling places of HIS quiet habitation. It requires deliberate rest & reflection. Then He comes once again. Filling our soul with burning words that blaze their trail in our hearts and to our fingers, the tapping heard again from the pause of silence. Rather vacant or blazing, His word always speaks, even if we do not.
The confirming scripture:
"17 The LORD your God in your midst,
The Mighty One, will save;
He will rejoice over you with gladness,
He will quiet you with His love,
He will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17
A belated unwrapping of silence. For more unwrappings click here. "17 The work of righteousness will be peace,
And the effect of righteousness, quietness and assurance forever.
18 My people will dwell in a peaceful habitation,
In secure dwellings, and in quiet resting places.." Isaiah 32:17&18
" 10 I will save you from afar,
And your seed from the land of their captivity.
Jacob shall return, have rest and be quiet,
And no one shall make him afraid." Jeremiah 30:10
Ps. Thanks Jamie for your faithfulness and blessing for sharing our names with each of us.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Decreasing In The Silence
When quiet comes the day to still
the sun recedes the hill,
and silence greets the space I breathe
the dusk which brings relief,
a treasure tho’ it’s brief.
I tarry here the sounds of few
it’s sweetness to me true
alone inside this quiet place
Him filling me with grace.
These times of quiet I need them, yes,
where more of Him is less
and smallness the place I long to be
increasing Him the key.
Life’s noise this place we all do live
a rhythm each day gives
leaving quiet, that precious mute
I pray decrease me too.
--Written by Tammy
Enjoying a few precious moments of silence last night when the sun was setting, I reveled the quiet, albeit, brief time. This week my heart cry has been my decrease and HIS increase. That I may view all things from above, through HIM who is above all and allow this earthen vessel & all its appetites to decrease. When the silence quickly evaporated with kid-trodden steps and little voices interjecting, I continue to pray: Make me SMALL Lord.
"29 He who has the bride is the bridegroom; but the friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly because of the bridegroom’s voice. Therefore this joy of mine is fulfilled. 30 He must increase, but I must decrease. 31 He who comes from above is above all; he who is of the earth is earthly and speaks of the earth. He who comes from heaven is above all." John 3:29-31
For more silent meditations visit Ann's place at "Walk With Him Wednesday".
the sun recedes the hill,
and silence greets the space I breathe
the dusk which brings relief,
a treasure tho’ it’s brief.
I tarry here the sounds of few
it’s sweetness to me true
alone inside this quiet place
Him filling me with grace.
These times of quiet I need them, yes,
where more of Him is less
and smallness the place I long to be
increasing Him the key.
Life’s noise this place we all do live
a rhythm each day gives
leaving quiet, that precious mute
I pray decrease me too.
--Written by Tammy
Enjoying a few precious moments of silence last night when the sun was setting, I reveled the quiet, albeit, brief time. This week my heart cry has been my decrease and HIS increase. That I may view all things from above, through HIM who is above all and allow this earthen vessel & all its appetites to decrease. When the silence quickly evaporated with kid-trodden steps and little voices interjecting, I continue to pray: Make me SMALL Lord.
"29 He who has the bride is the bridegroom; but the friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly because of the bridegroom’s voice. Therefore this joy of mine is fulfilled. 30 He must increase, but I must decrease. 31 He who comes from above is above all; he who is of the earth is earthly and speaks of the earth. He who comes from heaven is above all." John 3:29-31
For more silent meditations visit Ann's place at "Walk With Him Wednesday".
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Message In A Bottle (of me)
At my feet, or fingertips, the sea awaits this message in a bottle. Written in a promise from HIM, the day HE told me to let her go. The anguish spent in days of fasting and mourning. Not a physical death, but the death of a dream. Three days of mourning, weeping, were wiped out on the fourth day. God relieving the pain with HIS peace. The promise now bottled up, inside of me.
The dream of a daughter who’d love and live, happily ever after, with me. Gone among my fragmented life, pieces of my own making. But happily-ever-after was a fairy tale and reality continued on ever-after, happily replaced with peace. It’s funny how His peace surpasses all understanding, but thankfully it does. My grief was comforted in it.
Also, His Word sent a promise in the midst of sorrow. Scriptures clear and true, I’ve pondered them many years since. Not knowing if I’ll see the promise this side of Heaven, I trust with my heart and not my eye. For what I see, looks like broken promises. But it’s there, bottled up, His faithfulness to those long ago words, written ever so long before He delivered them to me.
One dream died, but another was born that day. A daughter still loved and I dreaming of promise. I moved out of the way to make way for HIM, all those years ago. She needed to know the love of a father; may she find it in HIM, Abba. As I pass through waters of brokenness, I will not be flooded--one of those promises.
So here I am at the sea of you (readers, friends, family) a message in the bottle of me. Out is sent this letter now opened on the other side of sea. Those ends of earth, where HE calls our sons & our daughters. Not to us, but to “I am He”.
“2When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, Nor shall the flame scorch you. 3 For I am the LORD your God, The Holy One of Israel, your Savior…..5 Fear not, for I am with you; I will bring your descendants from the east, And gather you from the west; 6 I will say to the north, ‘Give them up!’ And to the south, ‘Do not keep them back!’ Bring My sons from afar, And My daughters from the ends of the earth—
“12..Therefore you are My witnesses, ‘Says the LORD, ‘that I am God. 13 Indeed before the day was, I am He....” Isaiah 43
This Wednesday I walk in promises. For more walks at Ann's place, click the picture.
The dream of a daughter who’d love and live, happily ever after, with me. Gone among my fragmented life, pieces of my own making. But happily-ever-after was a fairy tale and reality continued on ever-after, happily replaced with peace. It’s funny how His peace surpasses all understanding, but thankfully it does. My grief was comforted in it.
Also, His Word sent a promise in the midst of sorrow. Scriptures clear and true, I’ve pondered them many years since. Not knowing if I’ll see the promise this side of Heaven, I trust with my heart and not my eye. For what I see, looks like broken promises. But it’s there, bottled up, His faithfulness to those long ago words, written ever so long before He delivered them to me.
One dream died, but another was born that day. A daughter still loved and I dreaming of promise. I moved out of the way to make way for HIM, all those years ago. She needed to know the love of a father; may she find it in HIM, Abba. As I pass through waters of brokenness, I will not be flooded--one of those promises.
So here I am at the sea of you (readers, friends, family) a message in the bottle of me. Out is sent this letter now opened on the other side of sea. Those ends of earth, where HE calls our sons & our daughters. Not to us, but to “I am He”.
“2When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, Nor shall the flame scorch you. 3 For I am the LORD your God, The Holy One of Israel, your Savior…..5 Fear not, for I am with you; I will bring your descendants from the east, And gather you from the west; 6 I will say to the north, ‘Give them up!’ And to the south, ‘Do not keep them back!’ Bring My sons from afar, And My daughters from the ends of the earth—
“12..Therefore you are My witnesses, ‘Says the LORD, ‘that I am God. 13 Indeed before the day was, I am He....” Isaiah 43
This Wednesday I walk in promises. For more walks at Ann's place, click the picture.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
How Does My Log Look
(continuation from yesterdays post "Today--I"m Working With It")
My community is doing a devotional study. Included are several churches (I’ve lost count, maybe 30+) along with individuals from various other places. “Nightline” plans to do a follow-up story about families changed by it. I wanted to get involved because a community came together across doctrines, church memberships, worship styles, theologies, across town and counties even states to do something, together. Having lived many places where this is uncommon, I’m interested.
Not placing high hopes on the devotion itself, my hopes were placed on togetherness. Men can write books, but it’s God who writes the heart. Lately, He's been editing mine.
In the devotion, one of the days talked about ‘sandpaper’ people in our lives, those who are irritants one way or another. Descriptions were given of possible types we may know. When I read them I knew exactly who ‘they’ were. ‘They’ being, ME. I’m not claiming I'm all of them, but a few I definitely recognized. My first 'peek' at them didn't come from the book, but it's between those pages another 'peek' was revealed. Frankly, I'm peeked up and will be absorbing His revealations. Not coddling condemnation during this editing session, I do embrace illumination. Would the real plank please stand up?
Today, I attempt to leave behind expectations. The ones that discourage, disappoint, and irritate when they’re not met. Because we’re ALL humanly flawed, my expectations included. This weekend I lived without them and was unexpectedly surprised. Allowing myself to enjoy family & friends for as long as I have them, I cut the strings of expectation. Because we know life is better when we're able to love better. So I take HIS ‘lesson’, make notes, transfer it to that beating spot of mine, and move on.
This doesn’t mean I’m plank-less, just realizing there’s plenty of plank to go around. So if you happen to see me squinting because of the honking log in my eye, say a prayer. If that doesn’t work, grab the saw. For now, unfettering expectations feels good. And you can take that to the plank. ;-)
This Tuesday, I'm unwrapping expectations (or maybe it should be 'unexpectations'). For more unwrappings, click on the picture.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Today--I'm Working With It
The hour became late when sleep abandoned me to ponder His heart. Those night hours of His counsel also rose with the sun, its brightness shedding my white world into wet. His fullness greets me as my body wanes with weary. My heart soars while my flesh aches for covers and pillows. I read His written lines and they are pleasant to this foggy soul. A heart full of friendships and family, my cup brims.
His love touched by those in skin, arms reaching, hugging, hoping to meet again. Where life comes together and carried among friends, family. When mud is life, we track it in too. Because we need those little pieces of HIM found in them. He speaks on pages or through pages wrapped in flesh.
No expectations are placed here; I just enjoy them while I can. It’s one of my ponderings, expectations. One I’ll ponder some more. Living in the now, blanket wrapped, His day rising higher in the sky. It's dawning a new light in this heart of mine. A simple thing really: Appreciate today while it’s still today. So today I'm finding rest in hope and appreciating pieces of skin.
"6 The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places.... 7....LORD who has given me counsel; My heart also instructs me in the night seasons. 9 Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoices; My flesh also will rest in hope."
Psalm 16:6-7&9
"5 Thus says the Lord GOD to these bones: 'Surely I will cause breath to enter into you, and you shall live. 6 I will put sinews on you and bring flesh upon you, cover you with skin and put breath in you; and you shall live. Then you shall know that I am the LORD.'” Ezekiel 37:5&6
For more gratitudes click on the picture above.
My gratitude continues below:
76. Dropping expectations of tomorrow's relationships
77. Seeing someone for how they really are and loving them the same
78. Sunday night fellowships that feel like family
79. Friends that encourage you into a blush
80. Naming an airplane of mystery with a friend who solved my years of wonder
81. Sharing joys and heartaches at a table of friends who care
82. Neighbors who keep me company in long drives to town when we carpool
83. My Sister who’s also a friend & has weathered many a storm with me, a skin that knows me well!
84. Hubby's job, where he's doing what God's called him to, in spite of the distance
85. His Holy breath, breathed into a flesh called body
86. Knowing HE is Lord and He continues revealing, knowing more
His love touched by those in skin, arms reaching, hugging, hoping to meet again. Where life comes together and carried among friends, family. When mud is life, we track it in too. Because we need those little pieces of HIM found in them. He speaks on pages or through pages wrapped in flesh.
No expectations are placed here; I just enjoy them while I can. It’s one of my ponderings, expectations. One I’ll ponder some more. Living in the now, blanket wrapped, His day rising higher in the sky. It's dawning a new light in this heart of mine. A simple thing really: Appreciate today while it’s still today. So today I'm finding rest in hope and appreciating pieces of skin.
"6 The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places.... 7....LORD who has given me counsel; My heart also instructs me in the night seasons. 9 Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoices; My flesh also will rest in hope."
Psalm 16:6-7&9
"5 Thus says the Lord GOD to these bones: 'Surely I will cause breath to enter into you, and you shall live. 6 I will put sinews on you and bring flesh upon you, cover you with skin and put breath in you; and you shall live. Then you shall know that I am the LORD.'” Ezekiel 37:5&6
For more gratitudes click on the picture above.
My gratitude continues below:
76. Dropping expectations of tomorrow's relationships
77. Seeing someone for how they really are and loving them the same
78. Sunday night fellowships that feel like family
79. Friends that encourage you into a blush
80. Naming an airplane of mystery with a friend who solved my years of wonder
81. Sharing joys and heartaches at a table of friends who care
82. Neighbors who keep me company in long drives to town when we carpool
83. My Sister who’s also a friend & has weathered many a storm with me, a skin that knows me well!
84. Hubby's job, where he's doing what God's called him to, in spite of the distance
85. His Holy breath, breathed into a flesh called body
86. Knowing HE is Lord and He continues revealing, knowing more
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Panes of White
A color which seems to be colorless, defined in many ways. Fallen among grasses and trees and little boy dreams, yesterday's mud covered in pureness. White has come and blanketed my world. Turning rain gorged grounds once covered in gooey brown, to pristine snow-filled beauty.
My heart flooded in fleshy goo, I too need reminders of pure white. Flakes falling over sticky smud
ges left by my footfalls. Blackened ground charred by fire, ones of my own making, supremely hidden among cumulative crystal flakes. Rough shod parts of farm outside, now picturesque in a wintery white gleam. Like my rough shod ways to ones who also are parts of this farm, His love brightly gleams when mine blithely fizzles out.
White. It’s what He does for me. Taking my mud and mire stained clothes and replacing like snow. Pure. It took Valentine red for HIM to bring me white. Some like flakes, some like blizzards, His word whitens my path. I look forward to the eternal adornment of white, where I’m joined with HIM. Until then, may it continue to fall even when the snow doesn’t. All my dark places covered by HIS white spaces.
The color of marriage, a bride, us, HIS church, one day robed in white like the snow now clothing the grass. His revealing much on the outerside of pane. Our window to marvels of pure white and HIM.
“They shall walk with Me in white, for they are worthy….he who overcomes shall be clothed in white garments…” Rev. 3:4 & 5
“I counsel you to buy from Me gold refined in the fire, that you may be rich; and white garments, that you may be clothed..” Rev. 3:18
“9 After these things I looked, and behold, a great multitude which no one could number, of all nations, tribes, peoples, and tongues, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed with white robes, with palm branches in their hands, 10 and crying out with a loud voice, saying, “Salvation belongs to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!” Rev 7:9 & 10
A belated walk, but one I wanted to share. Bless the journey.
My heart flooded in fleshy goo, I too need reminders of pure white. Flakes falling over sticky smud
ges left by my footfalls. Blackened ground charred by fire, ones of my own making, supremely hidden among cumulative crystal flakes. Rough shod parts of farm outside, now picturesque in a wintery white gleam. Like my rough shod ways to ones who also are parts of this farm, His love brightly gleams when mine blithely fizzles out.White. It’s what He does for me. Taking my mud and mire stained clothes and replacing like snow. Pure. It took Valentine red for HIM to bring me white. Some like flakes, some like blizzards, His word whitens my path. I look forward to the eternal adornment of white, where I’m joined with HIM. Until then, may it continue to fall even when the snow doesn’t. All my dark places covered by HIS white spaces.
The color of marriage, a bride, us, HIS church, one day robed in white like the snow now clothing the grass. His revealing much on the outerside of pane. Our window to marvels of pure white and HIM.
“They shall walk with Me in white, for they are worthy….he who overcomes shall be clothed in white garments…” Rev. 3:4 & 5
“I counsel you to buy from Me gold refined in the fire, that you may be rich; and white garments, that you may be clothed..” Rev. 3:18
“9 After these things I looked, and behold, a great multitude which no one could number, of all nations, tribes, peoples, and tongues, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed with white robes, with palm branches in their hands, 10 and crying out with a loud voice, saying, “Salvation belongs to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!” Rev 7:9 & 10
A belated walk, but one I wanted to share. Bless the journey.Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Springing Hope
Winter ebbs as days grow long
outside my window, birds in song
clouds roll back the rain away
light glowing with grand display.
Belying the cold against the bright
skin is chilled in sun’s delight.
Hours yawn toward season’s hope
Spring the season for which I grope.
Winter clings those dreary skies
change is seen tho’ faint with eye
float to top this hope I see
Spring’s horizon as winter flees.
outside my window, birds in song
clouds roll back the rain away
light glowing with grand display.
Belying the cold against the bright
skin is chilled in sun’s delight.
Hours yawn toward season’s hope
Spring the season for which I grope.
Winter clings those dreary skies
change is seen tho’ faint with eye
float to top this hope I see
Spring’s horizon as winter flees.
--Tammy
Unwrapping this Tuesday, the hope of Spring as winter clings. Where meadows green and flowers beam. Clothed in leaves and growth begins, the trees awake once again.
For more unwrappings, click the picture above.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Taking the Ball Out of the Bowl
In anticipation of fellowship in friends, we bring our dishes, our kids, and our hopes. Crossing the threshold, a bit early, we arrive first. A welcomed opportunity to meet the hostess and host of our gathering in a more one-on-one get to know ya kind of meet.
Soon others arrive placing their love tokens in various spots at our gathering place, the kitchen. We greet some more. Being blessed by more. The friendships continue to pour in as the cars pull up. The house filling with chatter, stovetop steam, delicious smells and night inking outside windows. A Bible study and superbowl party rolled into one. Where football isn’t the main course, just a backdrop to more meaningful events.
After Bible study discussion, we advance to the food splayed for our viewing and drooling. Let the eating begin. White bowls waiting next to shrimp creole and rice disappear with each passing person. Over food trays and treats, we connect with one another.
Sharing in food and fellowship, I’m reminded of Jesus sharing life lessons with food. The fish multiplied to feed the multitudes, turning water to wine at a wedding feast, a woman who cleaned His feet with tears while HE reclined and ate, also His death discussed over Passover supper. Just to name a few.
Even on this day, as we filled our physical need for hunger, a spiritual need was also being filled. Each of us one part of a whole, HIS body completed by all HIS parts, we now join together. I felt it. Those individual parts of who He is, ones called people. Each one unique, interesting and different.
More than food was served up in creole and rice in white bowls. Connecting in the spirit through HIS Spirit made it a super bowl. Encouraging moments between bites and ones continued beyond the spoon. This is where HE calls us all, HIS parts making whole the body. Kicked off in the Spirit, taking turns holding the ball or passing it, and a team working ‘til the endgame. Individual conditioning reaped during game time, for the team. Where working together is more important than scores and friendships more important than star players. I enjoyed the superbowl and it had nothing to do with a football.
“…Speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. 16From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.” Ephesian 4:16
“…Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. 25Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another….” Hebrews 10: 24&25
66. Excuses to gather for a thing called Superbowl, nevermind the football
67. Hearing how HE moves those who sit next to us
68. Revealing questions and answers in Love
69. Food of various flavors and style, just like the ones who brought them
70. Satisfied tummies filling up in fellowship
71. Unearthing unique adventures shared with others, a joy
72. Discovering a shared Okinawan experience with someone in this tiny Texas town, amazing!
73. Finding someone who already crossed the otherside of rebuilding anew among acres of land, refreshing.
74. A team who lost while I was oblivious, total fun
75. Friendships in and through HIM, priceless
Soon others arrive placing their love tokens in various spots at our gathering place, the kitchen. We greet some more. Being blessed by more. The friendships continue to pour in as the cars pull up. The house filling with chatter, stovetop steam, delicious smells and night inking outside windows. A Bible study and superbowl party rolled into one. Where football isn’t the main course, just a backdrop to more meaningful events.
After Bible study discussion, we advance to the food splayed for our viewing and drooling. Let the eating begin. White bowls waiting next to shrimp creole and rice disappear with each passing person. Over food trays and treats, we connect with one another.
Sharing in food and fellowship, I’m reminded of Jesus sharing life lessons with food. The fish multiplied to feed the multitudes, turning water to wine at a wedding feast, a woman who cleaned His feet with tears while HE reclined and ate, also His death discussed over Passover supper. Just to name a few.
Even on this day, as we filled our physical need for hunger, a spiritual need was also being filled. Each of us one part of a whole, HIS body completed by all HIS parts, we now join together. I felt it. Those individual parts of who He is, ones called people. Each one unique, interesting and different.
More than food was served up in creole and rice in white bowls. Connecting in the spirit through HIS Spirit made it a super bowl. Encouraging moments between bites and ones continued beyond the spoon. This is where HE calls us all, HIS parts making whole the body. Kicked off in the Spirit, taking turns holding the ball or passing it, and a team working ‘til the endgame. Individual conditioning reaped during game time, for the team. Where working together is more important than scores and friendships more important than star players. I enjoyed the superbowl and it had nothing to do with a football.
“…Speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. 16From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.” Ephesian 4:16
“…Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. 25Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another….” Hebrews 10: 24&25
66. Excuses to gather for a thing called Superbowl, nevermind the football
67. Hearing how HE moves those who sit next to us
68. Revealing questions and answers in Love
69. Food of various flavors and style, just like the ones who brought them
70. Satisfied tummies filling up in fellowship
71. Unearthing unique adventures shared with others, a joy
72. Discovering a shared Okinawan experience with someone in this tiny Texas town, amazing!
73. Finding someone who already crossed the otherside of rebuilding anew among acres of land, refreshing.
74. A team who lost while I was oblivious, total fun
75. Friendships in and through HIM, priceless
Saturday, February 6, 2010
LIAR, LIAR, MY PANTS ON FIRE
I actually heard it for the first time a few years back. Why I didn’t recognize it sooner was because it was cloaked in the familiar. Like an old habit. Those words I now remember telling them in high school. To myself because they never left my head. Those venomous words were rehearsed over and over, now like an old, mean friend. “You could never have (fill in blank).” Or “That (good thing) will never happen to you.” In high school it was “You’ll never be able to date one those of nice Christian boys.” In other words, I wasn’t worth enough. I should know. I told myself all the time.
All grown up with my own family and I just NOW realize it. Some call it the negative tape you play in your head. Call it what you will. How does one recognize the ‘tape’ when it’s your familiar voice repeating the same things for YEARS? For me it was an act of God.
During a Beth Moore Bible study with a small group of friends, years back, I finally got it. I got it and I didn’t want it. After doing one of the chapters I didn’t feel applied to me, it happened. The ‘tape’ played and I was able to ‘hear’ it, ‘hear’ myself talking. Whoa! Do I really say those mean things? To me? Yep. Not only do I say them, I must believe them. I’ve lived them for many of my adult years, even teenage years.
I was my own worst enemy. No more. I had to find the ‘tape’ and flush it. Having established who I am and my worth by HIS standards, I’m able to see me through HIM. Because what HE says I am is far above anything I could say or have said. Sometimes my finger strays to the ‘play’ button and I have to pull it back. Because it’s just a recorded liar and I won’t play it anymore. Maybe you know the tape. Join the club and turn it off. :-)
Ps. I eventually married one of those nice Christian boys. It just took me while to get there.
6 The words of the LORD are pure words, Like silver tried in a furnace of earth, Purified seven times." Psalm 12:6
"24 Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, Sweetness to the soul and health to the bones." Proverbs 16:24
and HE says: "15 Behold, you are fair, my love! Behold, you are fair!" Song of Solomon 1:15
All grown up with my own family and I just NOW realize it. Some call it the negative tape you play in your head. Call it what you will. How does one recognize the ‘tape’ when it’s your familiar voice repeating the same things for YEARS? For me it was an act of God.
During a Beth Moore Bible study with a small group of friends, years back, I finally got it. I got it and I didn’t want it. After doing one of the chapters I didn’t feel applied to me, it happened. The ‘tape’ played and I was able to ‘hear’ it, ‘hear’ myself talking. Whoa! Do I really say those mean things? To me? Yep. Not only do I say them, I must believe them. I’ve lived them for many of my adult years, even teenage years.
I was my own worst enemy. No more. I had to find the ‘tape’ and flush it. Having established who I am and my worth by HIS standards, I’m able to see me through HIM. Because what HE says I am is far above anything I could say or have said. Sometimes my finger strays to the ‘play’ button and I have to pull it back. Because it’s just a recorded liar and I won’t play it anymore. Maybe you know the tape. Join the club and turn it off. :-)
Ps. I eventually married one of those nice Christian boys. It just took me while to get there.
6 The words of the LORD are pure words, Like silver tried in a furnace of earth, Purified seven times." Psalm 12:6
"24 Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, Sweetness to the soul and health to the bones." Proverbs 16:24
and HE says: "15 Behold, you are fair, my love! Behold, you are fair!" Song of Solomon 1:15
Thursday, February 4, 2010
The Rest Of The Story
Clarity has brought into focus those God things in my life on this journey for the rest of the story. Writing has a way of doing that. Although I haven’t yet shared the many ‘postcards’ HE sent my way, I will one day. Ones HE sent when I was on vacation from HIM. If you been around my place, you know how my vacation ride ended. A plane wreck of a life. But you’ll also know; HE redeemed it.
So I write today, not for me. I’m on a journey. I have a story. I’ve been brought back like Lazarus. Jesus called me out of my dark cave, dead to Him and bandaged in sin. Jesus’ love causing HIM to weep for His friend Lazarus, like HE wept for me. Jesus standing outside the cave, calling, just like HE called me. Jesus waiting the way HE waited for me. He called me out. To Life. But I write for another reason. Not for me but for YOU.
I don’t want to just share the words of my journey. I want YOU to HAVE the journey. Traveling whatever road it takes to get you here. This place of personally knowing HIM. Not some guy upstairs, pie-in-the-sky, out of reach, above the clouds kind of HIM. Those were HIS place in my life, before it all got turned around. For the good, mind you.
So this journey isn’t just for the “I”s in my story. It’s also for the “YOU”s. Because what HE did in my life, HE did for YOU too.
Ps. If you already joined this journey of personally knowing: “Gettyup Sista and let’s ride!”
To get more stories and the rest, visit Holley's place.
So I write today, not for me. I’m on a journey. I have a story. I’ve been brought back like Lazarus. Jesus called me out of my dark cave, dead to Him and bandaged in sin. Jesus’ love causing HIM to weep for His friend Lazarus, like HE wept for me. Jesus standing outside the cave, calling, just like HE called me. Jesus waiting the way HE waited for me. He called me out. To Life. But I write for another reason. Not for me but for YOU.
I don’t want to just share the words of my journey. I want YOU to HAVE the journey. Traveling whatever road it takes to get you here. This place of personally knowing HIM. Not some guy upstairs, pie-in-the-sky, out of reach, above the clouds kind of HIM. Those were HIS place in my life, before it all got turned around. For the good, mind you.
So this journey isn’t just for the “I”s in my story. It’s also for the “YOU”s. Because what HE did in my life, HE did for YOU too.
Ps. If you already joined this journey of personally knowing: “Gettyup Sista and let’s ride!”
To get more stories and the rest, visit Holley's place.
Monday, February 1, 2010
SUBMITTED In—LOVE
Even though I left, HE never did. The time I ventured out to live life my way, Love was there watching. My adventure of the terrible kind. One that lasted longer than expected, but delivered me back to my first Love. It started, when I released. The clutch of my grip no longer able to clench. His Hands waiting to fill my now empty ones.
When all else faded back, I saw Him. Lost in 'my way', it had distanced us. His face hidden among all things I placed between us. Now gone. There He was, is. Sweeter than before in my rediscovering HIM. His love always there, even when mine wasn't. It took layers of life to peel back the beating heart of Love. I looked and I caved.
My submitting (that ‘dirty’ word) was where my Divine love story began. Total utter abandon I'd resisted in the past, now discarded. Falling with a loud thud for the weight it carried. Submit my life, every nook and cranny, submit my dreams, submit my family, submit MY, and submit HIM. It's where Love began. One that’s blossomed a thousand blooms and continues through the seasons. If only I’d known earlier, known better, what a beautiful word it is. Submit, a fragile word of action which is safe in HIS loving & nail-scarred Hands. His Love went first and showed me how.
For other Love(ly) stories visit (in)courage.
This post is a critical piece from my last post. Today's words are how my life pivoted for the good.
When all else faded back, I saw Him. Lost in 'my way', it had distanced us. His face hidden among all things I placed between us. Now gone. There He was, is. Sweeter than before in my rediscovering HIM. His love always there, even when mine wasn't. It took layers of life to peel back the beating heart of Love. I looked and I caved.
My submitting (that ‘dirty’ word) was where my Divine love story began. Total utter abandon I'd resisted in the past, now discarded. Falling with a loud thud for the weight it carried. Submit my life, every nook and cranny, submit my dreams, submit my family, submit MY, and submit HIM. It's where Love began. One that’s blossomed a thousand blooms and continues through the seasons. If only I’d known earlier, known better, what a beautiful word it is. Submit, a fragile word of action which is safe in HIS loving & nail-scarred Hands. His Love went first and showed me how.
For other Love(ly) stories visit (in)courage.
This post is a critical piece from my last post. Today's words are how my life pivoted for the good.
Where The Enemy Once Slept
For many years I had a nightly ritual. When lights went dark and house quiet with sleep, the cycle of fear & terror would hit me among shadowy glimmers of moonlight. A ritual as far back as memory takes me. A child who frantically wished sleep would overtake restless thoughts only to fail. Alone. In the dark. My Sis sleeping soundly beside me; oblivious to the murderous fear now bubbling up. I’d struggle to choke it back.
Living in a house with hidden minefields of anger, one never knew when it would go off. Or what the damage would be. Shrapnel inflicting pain and injuring those closest to it. Daily we breathed fear. It was in the air, it was in our blood, a father who supplied it. But it was never welcomed. Dare I think, not even he welcomed it. Yet the unwelcomed fear of man nightly replaced by one in the spirit.
One day Mom bravely left. Not an easy task. But encouraged she went on and met my Dad (he deserves the title). Who walked with us through the fear(ful) baggage we carried to our new family. Over time we understood arguing could be done in words ONLY. But it didn’t happen overnight. Nor was it easy. Trauma has a way of lingering long after bruises are healed and danger is gone.
Adulthood arrives and the enemy, fear & terror, still waited for me. It had never left. The Bible says he roars around like a lion, seeking whom he may devour. Me. My soul he hates. In the dark covered hours, I’m reminded of this murdering enemy. My spirit knows him well.
But one day my life was resurrected when I returned to Christ in desperate effort. Desperate was where I needed to be. Before then, submitting meant doormat. Not a good place.
Eventually my life shattered to pieces, in my very own hands. He watched it because I wouldn’t let HIM have it (my life). So HE waited. I crumbled. In a step of tattered faith, I SUBMITTED. Not as a doormat (I now know) but to His love. Submitting my ‘charge’. Submitting my ‘right’. Submitting lots of things and releasing control. It was a relief. I’d grown weary of my ‘charge’. HIS yoke light and easy, I came back, a stained and shattered life to offer.
A return meant the start of emptying. Like a lone sailor in a sinking boat with murky waters threatening, I began throwing my stuff overboard. Lightening my load, so my boat could float again. At HIS direction many things were flung into that vast ocean. Some critical, some scary, some familiar, some were old ‘life preservers’. Out and fast they went.
Along with the flinging, an old enemy. My trust now in Christ, replacing the one who roared. Fear & terror had to flee. And it did. At night when I now sleep, HE is there for me. Fear crucified on Jesus’ ransomed blood. Old rituals replaced with new ones. Reading love letters from HIS hands to mine, ones for me and for YOU. Yea. You. Got. Mail. The postage pierced and paid. Delivered straight to you by a carrier called Christ. More than a Person. A relationship of restoring love written with you in mind and more than your mind can imagine.
Go to the "Saturday Eveing Post" at Eshter's place for more stories.
Gratitudes of His Love casting out fear:
56. God says He IS my rear guard
57. Sleeping with my back to a door, any door
58. Sensing His peace in a time known for fear
59. Enjoying the quiet, dark nights when all sleeps, except me
60. His care in preserving the very words of LIFE
61. The painful cost delivered for us to freely receive
63. Times meant for bad turned for my good, only HE can
64. Submitting it all, and in my relief, finding it IS good
65. Submit no longer a word of weakness, but of Christ, the Ultimate Submitter
"...You are an epistle of Christ....written not with ink but by the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of flesh, that is, of the heart." 2 Corinthians 3:3
"7 Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you." James 4:7
Living in a house with hidden minefields of anger, one never knew when it would go off. Or what the damage would be. Shrapnel inflicting pain and injuring those closest to it. Daily we breathed fear. It was in the air, it was in our blood, a father who supplied it. But it was never welcomed. Dare I think, not even he welcomed it. Yet the unwelcomed fear of man nightly replaced by one in the spirit.
One day Mom bravely left. Not an easy task. But encouraged she went on and met my Dad (he deserves the title). Who walked with us through the fear(ful) baggage we carried to our new family. Over time we understood arguing could be done in words ONLY. But it didn’t happen overnight. Nor was it easy. Trauma has a way of lingering long after bruises are healed and danger is gone.
Adulthood arrives and the enemy, fear & terror, still waited for me. It had never left. The Bible says he roars around like a lion, seeking whom he may devour. Me. My soul he hates. In the dark covered hours, I’m reminded of this murdering enemy. My spirit knows him well.
But one day my life was resurrected when I returned to Christ in desperate effort. Desperate was where I needed to be. Before then, submitting meant doormat. Not a good place.
Eventually my life shattered to pieces, in my very own hands. He watched it because I wouldn’t let HIM have it (my life). So HE waited. I crumbled. In a step of tattered faith, I SUBMITTED. Not as a doormat (I now know) but to His love. Submitting my ‘charge’. Submitting my ‘right’. Submitting lots of things and releasing control. It was a relief. I’d grown weary of my ‘charge’. HIS yoke light and easy, I came back, a stained and shattered life to offer.
A return meant the start of emptying. Like a lone sailor in a sinking boat with murky waters threatening, I began throwing my stuff overboard. Lightening my load, so my boat could float again. At HIS direction many things were flung into that vast ocean. Some critical, some scary, some familiar, some were old ‘life preservers’. Out and fast they went.
Along with the flinging, an old enemy. My trust now in Christ, replacing the one who roared. Fear & terror had to flee. And it did. At night when I now sleep, HE is there for me. Fear crucified on Jesus’ ransomed blood. Old rituals replaced with new ones. Reading love letters from HIS hands to mine, ones for me and for YOU. Yea. You. Got. Mail. The postage pierced and paid. Delivered straight to you by a carrier called Christ. More than a Person. A relationship of restoring love written with you in mind and more than your mind can imagine.
Go to the "Saturday Eveing Post" at Eshter's place for more stories. Gratitudes of His Love casting out fear:
56. God says He IS my rear guard
57. Sleeping with my back to a door, any door
58. Sensing His peace in a time known for fear
59. Enjoying the quiet, dark nights when all sleeps, except me
60. His care in preserving the very words of LIFE
61. The painful cost delivered for us to freely receive
63. Times meant for bad turned for my good, only HE can
64. Submitting it all, and in my relief, finding it IS good
65. Submit no longer a word of weakness, but of Christ, the Ultimate Submitter
"...You are an epistle of Christ....written not with ink but by the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of flesh, that is, of the heart." 2 Corinthians 3:3
"7 Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you." James 4:7
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