"O LORD, You induced me, and I was persuaded;
You are stronger than I, and have prevailed.
I am in derision daily;
Everyone mocks me.
Then I said, 'I will not make mention of Him,
Nor speak anymore in His name.'
But His word was in my heart like a burning fire
Shut up in my bones;
I was weary of holding it back,
And I could not." Jeremiah 20:7 and 9
The thing with fire is it burns. And words shut up only smolder inside.
The thing of speaking is also one that cripples. Limping in shadows of rejection and holding us back until we no longer are able to quiet them.
The thing with rejection is that egos fall. Like mine. And I let it. This ego that gets in way of humble. That wants to have rights. That wants to be right. Rejection allows me to be lowered and seek the Feet. To search self and search Light. And I come to Him who holds the fire in my bones. The words I grow weary of holding back.
And no matter how much I want you to like me, I speak from this place shut inside. Clinging to doubt and pride, my ego wants to hide. And it just wants to get along and write simple things and make nice.
But that's my ego. It wants to wear the mask and not expose my grit, the rib of who I really am.
I'm citizen to a Kingdom, an alien nation in Christ. The thing with a kingdom is they have warriors. Real battles are raging whether I believe or not. I don't want the wounding, the struggle, the fight. But for a King I risk and release the shutting up. And I let ego fall hard.
It also falls hard on the heart where I humbly quake. But it breaks up fallowed ground to search me, test me and try me by fire. Because sometimes words burn and my ego becomes the lock to keep them inside.
My battle in the Kingdom waits in the mirror. Fighting ego and allowing my bones to be free. Derision lowers me to dust and I embrace this place He breathed life. And when ego is battered and mocked, I earnestly crawl to the foot of the Cross. Because it's here I have to look up to the One who sees. Laying down rights and being right and exposing bone by letting His words be. It allows Him to have His way and to burn ego's chaff which clings to me.
Join me this Tuesday at Bridget Chumbley's "One Word Carnival". The word is "Ego". Share your "ego" thoughts and then add your page. Hope to see ya there!
The thing of speaking is also one that cripples. Limping in shadows of rejection and holding us back until we no longer are able to quiet them.
The thing with rejection is that egos fall. Like mine. And I let it. This ego that gets in way of humble. That wants to have rights. That wants to be right. Rejection allows me to be lowered and seek the Feet. To search self and search Light. And I come to Him who holds the fire in my bones. The words I grow weary of holding back.
And no matter how much I want you to like me, I speak from this place shut inside. Clinging to doubt and pride, my ego wants to hide. And it just wants to get along and write simple things and make nice.
But that's my ego. It wants to wear the mask and not expose my grit, the rib of who I really am.
I'm citizen to a Kingdom, an alien nation in Christ. The thing with a kingdom is they have warriors. Real battles are raging whether I believe or not. I don't want the wounding, the struggle, the fight. But for a King I risk and release the shutting up. And I let ego fall hard.
It also falls hard on the heart where I humbly quake. But it breaks up fallowed ground to search me, test me and try me by fire. Because sometimes words burn and my ego becomes the lock to keep them inside.
My battle in the Kingdom waits in the mirror. Fighting ego and allowing my bones to be free. Derision lowers me to dust and I embrace this place He breathed life. And when ego is battered and mocked, I earnestly crawl to the foot of the Cross. Because it's here I have to look up to the One who sees. Laying down rights and being right and exposing bone by letting His words be. It allows Him to have His way and to burn ego's chaff which clings to me.
Join me this Tuesday at Bridget Chumbley's "One Word Carnival". The word is "Ego". Share your "ego" thoughts and then add your page. Hope to see ya there!
Sometimes my ego wants me to hold my words in. Sometimes it wants me to blurt them out. Knowing which is pride and which is ego... that should force me to God for wisdom. (I usually stumble around and mess it up.) This post made me think - thank you!
ReplyDeleteHi Tammy! Thanks for yet another thought provoking post. It made me think that too often I don't even get to this point: "And when ego is battered and mocked,..." bc I'm much too concerned & careful about protecting my ego in the first place.
ReplyDeleteJoy, I've been a recovering blurter. I'm still not there yet. For me, my ego wants to cling to pride. Or to make nice and not say the hard thing. Not to "rock the boat" because that would be too hard. I'm learning to find my value in Christ. My ego wants to stroke my comfortable place. But walking with Christ sometimes causes to be uncomfortable. So this is where I've been. It's a tug-of-war and when it more tug and war, I crawl to His feet. He comforts me there. I'm so glad to know I'm not the only blurter! Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteMyStory of HiStory, everyone has a God-designed purpose and uniqueness. Even in blogging. I think if God put it on your heart to really let 'ego' be battered and bruised, you would do it. Just be faithful with what He's given. Yours won't look like mine. It's what makes things interesting. Thanks for stopping in. I lurk over at your place often! :)
Tammy, I really enjoyed your post. I like this:
ReplyDeleteAnd when ego is battered and mocked, I earnestly crawl to the foot of the Cross.
Amen!
And when the ego falls, it fall with "a whimper, not a bang." Good post.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful - we often think of ego as wanting to be seen, but you show that ego wants the real person to hide.
ReplyDelete". . . the rib of who I really am."
ReplyDeleteLots of good stuff here, but this really jumped out to me. Beautiful post.
Great post. You had me at the title.
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed it!
ReplyDeleteYou must be reading my mind. This post has truly humbled me.
ReplyDeleteLady Rose
Same happening to me.. cant put it in words.. just salute the common vibes we all are sharing :)
ReplyDeleteMay God bless all !!